To Write or To Do

"To write" or "to do", that is my question. Many times in the past it has just been about doing and that's why I haven't gotten back on here as often as I'd like.  So often it's a choice for me - do I play with Chloe, clean the house, do ministry stuff or do I update folks on all of those things through this blog, our newsletter or a thank you note? I guess a bit of both is needed and if I'm being honest I would say the last month has been so full to overflowing that I could use a break to write down all God is doing if for nothing else to remind myself of how good He is and how many prayers He's answered for us. 

This month we've celebrated Chloe's first Easter at both churches, welcomed Sarah Lee to Germany, started teaching an English as a Foreign Language class to members of the CVJM church, had a college and young adults hamburger social, continued work at the CVJM building a huge wall, plastering, painting and doing everything under the sun there, continued our volunteering at the Birke filling baby bottles with information about how people can get involved in the fight against abortion and helping to stuff newsletters and brochures and anything else needed.  Alan also started back to intensive language school every day and I've signed up to be on the conference planning team for the Pioneers European conference in May of 2013.  So far we've met twice via skype for a couple of hours and it's exciting to see plans about the conference come together.  I'd love to share more details but nothings firm as of yet.

Chloe, our lives joy and priceless treasure is growing like a weed.  She's learning new things every day and her smile can light up any room.  Unfortunately she is much faster than we are so keeping up with her crawling around like mad is a challenge!  The other day I heard her rummaging through Websters dogfood. Fortunately I got to her before she ate her full! :)  The thing I've loved the most lately is watching her just giggle with glee whenever Webster is around.  She absolutely adores this dog.  She feeds him her Cheerios every morning, tries to grab his fur to give him a pat whenever he walks by and she loves it when we're sitting in the rocking chair together and Webster acts like he's going to bite her feet (of course he never would).  The other day I hear her giggling in the back seat of the car and I looked in the rear view mirror to see her feeding Webster her pretzel and watching him lick her in appreciation.  YUK! :)

Our days and nights are full of activity and we are so grateful for all that is taking place now and all that will take place this summer.  Alans mom comes for a short visit next week then I head to southern Germany with our area leader and another missionary to scout out the hotel the InTent Pioneers conference will use this October and again in March of 2013.  I agreed to be on the ground team for that conference as well but it's much smaller than the 2013 European conference.  After we return from Georgia we'll be welcoming a team from WFBC of somewhere between 6-8 individuals who are going to work with us and help out at the CVJM for about two weeks.  As they pull out we get a small Edge team from the UK for three weeks and then in August and September I am back in language class.

Alan and I would appreciate your prayers against discouragement and spiritual attack for our marriage and ministry. Our area leader said it best - we're not necessarily lonely but we are experiencing "aloneness".  In three weeks though we head back to Georgia for a few weeks to celebrate birthdays galore (Lily Kate's 2nd, Chloe and Emma's 1st, Christine's 30th, Lee Anne's 46th and a late celebration for my best friend Melody whose birthday is actually tomorrow).  We'll also celebrate mother's day and father's day.  I'm trying to pull together a surprise video for my dad for Father's Day so hopefully that will come together ok with everyones help.  I did one for my mom about five years ago that was fun to do. 

Thank you for keeping track of us, praying for us and being interested in our lives.  We appreciate our friends and family so much!

A jumbled mind...

I'm afraid that's what my mind has become - jumbled. I've got so many things going on simultaneously which used to be something I loved but now it just leaves me confused and exhausted! I'm pathetically using my blog to keep track of what's going on in my life so that hopefully I can make sense of it all, prioritize it appropriately and start to tackle it. After all a jumbled mind is not something anyone enjoys having. We want to think clearly, make wise choices and not either overwhelm ourselves nor do too little. So with that here it goes...

Chloe is growing up so fast I simply can't keep track of it anymore. I haven't loaded pictures on Facebook in nearly three months. I have so many pictures of all those moments I don't want to miss that my memory card and iPhone are full. Ugh. At some point I need to upload them all so that a) I can take more b) I don't accidentally delete them all c) the grandparents and aunts/uncles and friends can stay in touch with their grandchild!

Alan and I started 40 days of prayer together on February 19th. We missed one day due to forgetfulness/busyness and I got really upset about it because I hate not following through on commitments. It's been so good for us though that I really don't want to stop after the 40 (now 41) days are complete. I think as missionaries in Germany we need to be praying together every day and to be honest with the sheer number of people that ask us to pray for them and the state of this world - we NEED to pray every day. Granted we do pray by ourselves but there's something about just coming together with Alan and being on the same page praying together.

When I got back from Christmas I decided I had to lose some weight to help my back feel better (or at least I hoped it would make my back feel better). I started off great - lost 2 lbs a week for 4 weeks and then - plateau - HUGE plateau. It's the weight I was before I had Chloe, the weight I reached last fall after I got the Chloe weight off and now I'm back again. I feel like I'm a roller coaster - ugh. It is now the middle of week 9 and still I've lost no more weight. I've been using an iPhone app called MyFitnessTracker and I've kept track of every calories I've put in my mouth. I've also tracked all my exercise. I've tracked til I'm blue in the face and yet no weight has come off. Not even a pound in five weeks. I've fasted, had a day with no carbs, exercised 4 times a week or more for 45 minutes to an hour each time and nata. So.... I've decided to start running. Or try to at least for 20 minutes, 3 times a week with a new program called Couch to 5K. Alan says he's going to do it with me so that should be ummm... interesting! :) I'll update on how it goes...

Today I got word that Sarah Lee has been officially accepted for the Pioneers Venture program and that she'll hopefully be joining us by the end of the month and volunteering with our team until Thanksgiving. Alan and I are very excited she's coming but I have a lot of work to do to sort out everything before she arrives. She's been at orientation with Pioneers in Florida this week and has had a great time getting to know people. So far the folks at the CVJM want her to paint a mural on a wall, organize some kids art programs over the summer and help with a backdrop of some sort for their youth talent competition each week. I want her help building a new website for our team here and designing a logo for us. I also want her to survey students about their spiritual backgrounds, get involved with the ProLife organization, the Birke e.V. and be the point person for the teams and individuals coming this summer. She will also need to start intensive language learning classes right away so we can get her a visa to stay longer than 3 months.

We have another student joining us in June we hope whose name is Josh. He's from South Carolina, has been in the military, was born in Germany and can speak some German although it's been a while. He's currently doing a theology degree and is coming to work with us as part of his internship for school. Josh will help us further define and build on our college ministry as well as help Alan with his work at the CVJM.

The group from WFBC hopefully will arrive toward the end of June and they'll overlap with a few folks from England coming with Edge. The Edge group stays 3 weeks, the WFBC group is somewhere from 10 days to 2 weeks. Alan and I are going to be working on team meetings starting in April to prepare and to get the work projects together as well as accommodation, meal setup, service planning, etc.

In early May I'll travel down to Altensteig, Germany with our area leader from Hungary to help survey a conference center for the leadership conference being held there in October. I'm on the ground team for that helping to serve as the point of contact for any issues, problems, setup questions, etc. when it takes place this October and then again in March of 2013. I absolutely love event planning so that should be good.

I am also on the planning and execution team for the larger Pioneers European conference in 2013. We'll have our first meeting at the end of this month. Hopefully all that money mom and dad put into me getting a masters in hotel and restaurant management will finally be put to use! :)

This week I volunteered twice at the Birke e.V., the local ProLife organization here in Heidelberg. I heard about the organization from a German friend and also online and have volunteered once a week since early February but now that my German class is finished I'm going to go more if possible. The people are very kind and passionate about the work they do but they need more volunteers. If you live in this area and want to go with me sometime, just let me know. Their tagline is "Help instead of abortion".

I have been so devastingly torn up about this horrible culture of death that has swept over the entire world. I read article after article and sometimes I just have to stop because it gets me so upset I can barely function. I wish so desperately that Jesus would intervene in every case to save the poor babies lives or cause any woman that would consider aborting her baby to seek counseling to be offered help, an ultrasound, anything to prevent her from killing her unborn child and mutilating her own body. The damage I've read about that it does to the mothers - not just physically but emotionally, spiritually, in nearly every way is unreal. "Pro-choice" people shout from the rooftops for womens rights, Rights that would allow a woman to multilate her own body, murder her unborn child, suffer untold depression and remorse? Seems like those fighting for pro-life care MUCH more about the mothers than any pro-choicer. Sad and such a repeat of history. G.K. Chesterton once said, "Those who can not remember the past are doomed to repeat it." Let me say to all you pro-choicers out there - come to Germany. Relive the last holocaust here. No one is proud of that time in the worlds history. The great majority of people - christian or non believe Hitler is deserving of hell for what he did. There is no difference between that holocaust and the one we are currently living through. Hitler had these words inscribed over one of the gas ovens in Auschwitz: "I want to raise a generation of young people devoid of a conscience, imperious, relentless and cruel." Seems like everywhere I look I see people devoid of a conscience, imperious, relentless and cruel. The only hope for mankind is the forgiveness and love of Christ. It's why we're here in Germany so we can proclaim it from the rooftops. Please pray the Holy Spirit would go before us and prepare hearts and open eyes to the truth. Seems like people don't seem to care much about the truth anymore. What's true for you might not be true for me is often heard but that statement is self contradictory in and of itself.

Next time I'll post some pictures - I promise...

A minor catch-up

Well we're back in England taking a one week break to see Alans family and visit friends and supporters here. The last five weeks have felt like a whirlwind with everything we've had going on. I (Mary), started back to intensive language school in early February going every day for four hours while Alan stayed at home and took care of Chloe. When I got home he would then leave to go and work at the CVJM. I also started volunteering after school one day a week at a ProLife organization in Heidelberg called Die Birke e.V. and I've been so impressed with everyone I've met so far and the work they do. Basically in Germany before a woman can get an abortion she is required to attend counseling sessions. The Birke offers these counseling sessions and tries to provide help to the woman so they will choose not to have an abortion and kill their unborn child. The week after I started volunteering the organization came to the CVJM to speak and to fund raise so that was neat that God had orchestrated that to happen before I began volunteering. It felt like confirmation that I was supposed to help out there.

Language classes have been difficult but I do feel like my German is progressing a lot better. I need to find the time now to study at home and to continue learning. I've downloaded a bunch of great applications for my iPhone to help. Mainly I deal with time management issues given each day I feel I should take care of the house, laundry and meals, play with Chloe, spend time with Alan, have a meaningful quiet time and prayer time, learn German, communicate with supporters, manage our finances and the individuals and teams coming to work with us this year, work out, meal track and occasionally volunteer with the church or the Birke. This last nine months have given me such an appreciation for my mom and the countless others like her that somehow manage to accomplish everything they do so effortlessly.

Being back in England is good because we need to do some planning for the next few months. Sarah Lee should be arriving within the month, Joshua's fund raising is coming together so he should be here in June. The team from WFBC is forming and will come at the end of June hopefully. I still have to sync up with the Pioneers England and Croatians offices about their Edge teams that might come this summer as well.

We are excited about all God is doing here and will write more in the next days and weeks about how He has been speaking to us.

Back in Germany and in planning mode

Well since I last wrote we had Chloe dedicated at our home church in Watkinsville. It was a sweet time as it was just Chloe and Emma together with a few family and friends. The remaining days in Georgia were bittersweet as we loved spending time with as many as possible while also looking forward to getting back to our own nest. The last Sunday we were in Georgia Alan and I spoke at the college Sunday school class about our work in Germany and then that afternoon we had an informational meeting about coming to Germany next summer with the WFBC missions team or as a GAP year student. The meeting went well we think. We had 21 that came but I'd love to just have the exact number God wants us to have and no more or less.

After leaving Georgia we went back to England but only for a day which was more a jet-lag recovery time than anything else unfortunately. Still it was nice seeing Alans parents. Thank you for all that prayed we would make it back to Germany safely. Chloe was a trooper on all the flights. We spent our first week back unpacking, cleaning and recovering from bad colds. Alan did some work at the CVJM and I worked out a few times but other than that we stayed in. It was good getting back to Victory and the CVJM and seeing folks. Housegroup was good. We're studying the book, "God knows your love language". I admitted last week to the group that I'm not very good at receiving any of the love languages but that I think the love language I like most to give is acts of service. I believe Alan is more quality time or maybe words of affirmation. He certainly can read and study the bible and pray longer than anyone I know.

Yesterday our neighbor came over and although it was exhausting speaking only German for an hour I enjoyed our hot chocolate and time together. She's a lovely lady and I hope to get to know her better this year. I'm not sure where she stands with Christ other than she is a Catholic, doesn't think too highly of the Evangelical church here and thinks there is only one God and what you believe other than that is fairly relative. She doesn't speak any English but she always gives me a big hug when she leaves and she puts up with my spotty German which is nice.

Tuesday nightAlan and I met with the leadership team of the CVJM and some of the youth to talk about the hopeful individuals and teams we have coming over this summer. Sarah is the closest to coming over with plans to go under the umbrella of Pioneers, fill out all their applications and attend orientation in March. If they then approve her she'll come shortly after that.

Chloe is growing like a weed and is crawling everywhere. That was the latest news when we went to England - us putting her down and suddenly everything just came together for her and she was off. I have to admit though that my favorite thing is that she learned to say "mama" over our break. Alan had a lot to do with it I think because he's constantly saying to her "say, mama, mama". But I love it when she calls me and then I go into the room wherever she is and she just gets this HUGE smile on her face! I absolutely love her to bits.

School starts back for me on February 6th. I went by yesterday to check on the class and who my teachers would be and am glad that one of them is Rosvita and another is Katarina. I liked them both. We're attending both the CVJM and Victory International Church right now to challenge ourselves to learn German and to become a bit more involved with the church there on the weekends as well as through the week. Usually the CVJM's services offset Victory's so we can attend both which is good because not being able to understand the German preaching at the CVJM is really difficult.

One of the things we're praying about starting is an outreach into the community by offering beginning English lessons at the church. The CVJM has a great room that we could use and we could make coffee and bring some American brownies or something and offer it on a Saturday afternoon for 6 weeks or so. Alan is going to ask his German friend Rene to help him do the outreach by handing out flyers and advertising for it. If nothing else, it will help us build relationships and give us the opportunity to tell Germans about Christ.

As far as our work with college students, I am going to work tomorrow on printing out about a hundred more of the complete spirituality surveys for University students on card stock so we can carry on doing the surveys and inviting students to church. I also want to get the college-age group together again once finals are over in the next few weeks. I know most students are completely drained from all the papers and exams and are just looking forward to the break.

Please continue to keep us in your prayers that God would direct every step we make and every step of those that plan to come to work alongside us this year.

Good-bye 2011, hello 2012!

Gosh, it's been a while since I've written. Sorry about that.
Since last time this is the super short condensed version of what I should have written about but didn't:
I turned 41, Alan turned 48.
We gave thanks in November but bypassed the traditional Thanksgiving dinner because we were living in Germany and well, yeah - we just didn't do anything! :)
Alan drove to England and Chloe and I flew (and had a rough time - I don't recommend flying alone with an infant)
We spent a week with Alans family celebrating Alans birthday and an early Christmas
While in England we went to two Christmas markets, visited a beach with a great lighthouse and enjoyed church at Hillside
We flew to Georgia and had another birthday celebration for Alan and me
Chloe had her 6 month birthday
Met sweet Emma for the first time and got reaquainted with Charlotte and Lily Kate
Went to meet Santa with Chloe for the first time
Chloe attended nursery at church for the first time and did great
We had the annual Abney Christmas party and 60 came. Great food, fellowship and fun introducing everyone to our daughter
Chloe said "mama" for the first time
Dad turned 68 and I made chicken pie for his birthday party
We celebrated Christmas "Abney" style with tons of wonderful, thoughtful presents and a great southern breakfast
We shopped so much at Kohl's I think they are going to literally cut us off but we saved a ton of money!!
Alan and I went to the lake twice so he could go fishing
We took Chloe swimming for the first time and we think we'll go ahead and enter her into the Olympics she was so awesome. Not scared a bit and just full of smiles. Yah!
Alan helped put down flooring in my sisters attic and helped build a kitchen window for her into her living room
Alan re-wired the barns electrical system at my parents house
Alan hung french doors for Emma's room at Christine's
We ate dinner at Brett's, Graze and Mirko's and my sister Lee Anne's
I spent the day with Mel and Jackson, Hannah and Luke at Gyro Wrap, Chuckie Cheese for games and Menchie's for frozen yogurt
We started recruiting GAP year students and team members for the WFBC missions trip to Germany next year
We saw the awesome movie Courageous - highly recommend it
I cooked fajitas for the family and Chloe swung on the new playset a lot
I worked out but not enough to burn off all the calories we ate!
And so much more but those are some of the highlights! :)



As we gear up for the close of 2011 and the start of 2012(in 43 minutes and counting) I look back on this last year and the one word that summarizes how I feel is "grateful". If you had asked me to summarize the year 3 weeks ago I probably would have said "discouraging" as Satan ran us through the wringer as we adjusted to our move to Germany but now that I've had time to really reflect and refresh, grateful is a much more appropriate word. Grateful for the opportunity friends, churches and families gave us to serve in Germany this year. Grateful the Lord provided a home, furnishings, a car for us to drive, computers for us to use to stay in touch with family and friends and food for us to eat. Grateful for the precious gift of life given to us on May 31 and every single day we've spent with her since. Grateful for a husband that loves Jesus far more than he loves anything else and for a husband that absolutely adores me and his daughter. Grateful for family that will always be home for us - both in England and America. Grateful for friendships that never change, despite the distance that separates us. Grateful for God's unending grace, forgiveness and love.


I approach 2012 knowing God is faithful to complete the work He started in us. Faithful to make all things work together for good and faithful to never leave us or forsake us. Happy New Year to you all. We love you.

A revision and Why I am a Christian

After writing my last blog a few nights ago I realize now there should have been at least seven categories rather than six.

This added category is the spiritually complacent, lukewarm, couldn't care less, willfully sinning and have no desire nor willingness to surrender that sin - Christian. Now - some may actually call those that fit in this category non-Christians (they were never really saved to begin with). I choose not to do that because that's up to God to decide and really only He knows. I know Jesus said we will know other believers by their fruit and so in a way you can make a judgment based on the way someone lives their lives as to whether they are a believer or not; however, that being said... I, like many other Christians willfully chose to walk away from the Lord when I was in college. Over the next fifteen years I made a series of terrible decisions that took me step by step away from God. In all those years though I never forgot my faith. I felt the Holy Spirit telling me what was right versus wrong and I ignored His voice. I felt the guilt associated with bad choices. I felt the consequences of bad choices. Nothing I accomplished, no matter the amount of money I made nor the position I rose to made any difference whatsoever. I remember feeling content and loved and knowing I had purpose back in High School. All of that I attributed to having a real relationship with Jesus - the, "I can hear His voice speaking directly into my life every day relationship" and I desperately wanted to feel that way again. I had an insatiable thirst for something that I thought the world could fill and I was miserable.

Miserable.

I don't want to state that too subtly because it's the reason I can tell you that I'm a Christian today. I inwardly LONGED to be in relationship with Christ again. Every day. I had however no clue whether that was possible and given every bad decision I had made - believed it was genuinely not going to happen. Some people say, "oh what a difference Christ made in my life when I became a Christian" and that may be true for some but there are others, like myself who grew up in Christian homes, were taught right from wrong very early on, were involved with everything in the church from the moment they could walk or speak and loved Jesus as a child. Then they gave their lives to the Lord and at some point later, walked away from their faith.

Why? Who knows really. For every person it's different I think.

I started to walk away from Jesus because I didn't like the legalism of the Christian University I was attending and thought that wasn't what Christianity was about. I still don't; however, Satan used those feelings, a guy I thought was cute that was a non-Christian, a church that was too big and very impersonal and a fellow believer who did her best to quench the fire within me to lead me down a path that I didn't even recognize was taking me away from Christ until I was so far away I couldn't find my way back if I tried. Fifteen years I was away.

I'm not a Christian because logically it made sense to me - although logically it does. I'm not a Christian because my parents and sisters are. I am a Christian and a follower of Jesus Christ because of all the things I've pursued in the world, this is the one thing that challenges me, satisfies me, grips me. It gives me purpose and meaning. It helps me, comforts me and encourages me. It convincts and hopefully changes me. It gives me hope that this world is not all there is. It makes sense to me on every level - mind, heart, soul. Do I have all my questions answered? No but Christianity does offer solid answers to the primary questions of life and that is something I've not found to any satisfaction anywhere else.

The Six Categories of People at your Church

It's 1:35am and I can't sleep so this is a warning before this blog begins! :)

I was sitting in bed and thinking to myself about the people I have met in the various churches I've attended over the years and I thought I would summarize in a blog what I was thinking. You may think differently and if so I'd love to know your thoughts...

At any given time I believe you will find six categories which people fall into at your church. Very rarely do any of us stay in one category but I'm sure there are exceptions. Like me, you've probably experienced times when you fell into each of them - sometimes you hurdle two or more. So what exactly are they?

The first category is the group I call the "socially elite"
The socially elite group is all about who's there, what they've accomplished in the week versus what someone else has accomplished, what folks are wearing, who has the brightest children or grandchildren, what their bank account or retirement account balance reads this week, what social functions they have lined up to enjoy next and who is attending with them, etc. With the socially elite group you never really know where you stand. The people in this group try so hard to impress eachother and to make their lives sound so much better (or worse!) than others that they rarely listen to what you have to say. They talk primarily about themselves and when you begin to talk about your life, they look to see who else they can talk to. This leads others to believe they care solely about themselves. I don't think this group is altogether bad but they do seem preoccupied with a lot of "stuff".

The second category is what I call the "wannabees"
This group goes around trying to impress the socially elite group but they don't quite measure up to the socially elites ever-changing standards. The wannabees have tremendous insecurities (not unlike the socially elite group) but they measure their spirituality by if the socially elite think they are ok. You see them constantly attempting to impress, "suck up to" or otherwise lavish attention on the socially elite. They do this so they can occassionally be invited to hang out with the socially elite or get a compliment or two. The socially elite love the wannabees if only for the attention they get from them that they so desire and require.

The third group are the "frustrated"
They've been around the block a time or two - they've seen the church play church and they may have even seen the church be truly on fire for God. They've seen what they view as people being hurt more than loved on, ignored more than included and condemned more than accepted. They see those that claim to be Christians but refuse to give up areas of their lives that are sinful because that area is off limits to God. This group wants to make a difference but they've forgotten how. They are consumed with others - the way they act, the way they are treated, whether the church is performing up to their standards, etc. They do a lot of comparision thinking - "oh my church back home was much better at...", "the last church I was at didn't do that", "we've heard this sermon before", "the band really sounded off this morning". Whatever. Those that are frustrated complain. Maybe not verbally but in their mind you better believe they are struggling. They believe things should be "fixed" but they either don't know where to begin, don't want to invest that amount of time in the church or they may even try to make an attempt but usually they leave God on the sidelines while doing so.

The fourth group are the "hurting"
They come to church in pain. They are desperate for someone to listen to them, put their arm around them and say things are going to be ok. They look for someone to pray for them and to promise to continue to pray until things improve. They're going through a difficult time at home or in their workplace. They are struggling financially or they are sick. They have loved ones they are losing or they are depressed from trying for so long without seeing results. They come to church looking for answers, encouragement, love and a touch from Jesus. Whether they get those things or not depends on the church and the people that make up that church. They want to open up and share but are usually drowned out by the problems of others. This group is the one you find that overlaps with all the others at at least one point or another. The socially elite hurt, the wannabees hurt, the frustrated group hurts, etc.

The fifth group of people are the "disciples"
This group remains usually very low key. They always have a kind word for you. When they say they'll pray, you know they will. When they raise their hands to worship God it's not because the pastor told them to - it's because it's a genuine outflowing from their hearts. You often see them kneeling in church - humbleness and love epitomize who they are. Rarely if ever are they invited to be a part of the socially elite group as their very presence is convicting. You know this group is sincere. They will never say an unkind word about anyone and they won't hang around others that do. They love and give expecting nothing in return and they come to church truly to be in the presence of their savior. This group is the true Romans 12:1,2 group. They have been transformed by Jesus and want to be more like Him and only Him, every day.

The last and final group are the seekers
The seekers are for the most part, non-christians. They come to your church once - occassionally more to check things out. They are looking for the fifth group of people as they've heard they exist but more than likely they've only been around the first four groups their whole lives. If they are fortunate enough to meet someone in the fifth group, chances of them returning go up - unless they meet too many others in groups one through four and think to themselves that this church is no different than any others. They might be skeptical or hurting, frustrated or just truly investigating their options but your chance to reach them is usually limited to that day - that 1.5 hours, those 3 minutes of "meet and greet your neighbor" time in the service.

Maybe you will disagree with me - call the groups by different titles, add a category or two or disregard everything I've said as complete rubbish(! :))but this was on my heart and I thought I'd share it. I will say I have fallen into every category at one time or another. Our pastors wife said it, "spiritually complacent". All too often I am spiritually complacent. I get frustrated too easily, I try to impress others. I exclude and try to fit in. I complain in my heart and I don't forgive as quickly as I should. I get angry at stupid things and at terrible times. My quiet times become rituals I must complete rather than something that transforms my life each day.

I, like most in the church, am a work in progress. If we are truly Christians - God will reveal to us our shortcomings in His gentle, loving ways and He will discipline us to make the changes He needs to make in our lives. He is tough on His children but it is always for our good and for the good of the church. He wants us to be truly transformed by the Holy Spirit - to reflect Him when others look at us. I have a long way to go and I pray He never gives up on me. My sins are always in front of me staring me in the face. I can't run far.

The church is not perfect but Christ died for the church and He is the true head - no matter how much we love our pastors, they are just people like the rest of us. One day God will put an end to all that divides us and we will see how truly far we were from what He called us to be. Until that time I pray God will continue the work in you (and me) that He started and that we will be ever filled with His presence, peace and love.

Verses that came to mind for each of the groups if you're interested in reading further:

Socially Elite: Romans 12:2, "Don't copy the customs and behavior of the world" and Phil 2:3 "Don't be selfish; don't try to impress others."

Wannabees: John 12:43, "For they loved the praise from men more than from God" and Galations 1:10 "For am I now seeking the approval of man or of God?"

Frustrated: Matthew 7:2 "For in the same way you judge others, you will be judged" and James 5:16 "Confess your faults one to another and pray for one another than you may be healed."

Hurting: Matthew 11:28 "Come to Me, all who are weary and heavy-laden, and I will give you rest" and Romans 8:18 "For I am confident that the sufferings of this present time are not worthy to be compared with the glory that shall be revealed in us."

Disciples: James 1:22 "But be ye doers of the word and not hearers only" and James 5:16 "The effectual fervent prayer of a righteous man availeth much"

Seekers: John 1:12 "But to all who believed him and accepted him, he gave the right to become children of God"